College Attacks!

Going into my junior year of high school, one word keeps invading my life: COLLEGE.

"Should we go on a college tour?"
"What colleges are you looking at?"
"I only did that so I could write it on my college app."
"I want to go to college really far from here."

With college two years away, why am I being bombarded with all of this stuff from parents, teachers, universities, and friends?

Well, it's unfortunately not that long from now that I will have to decide which colleges I want to apply to, take the ACT/SAT, write my college essay, go on college tours, and complete applications. The college admissions process is (not surprisingly) long and detailed, and as much as I don't want to start thinking about the "c" word, I can't afford to be in denial anymore.

College is supposed to be a great time in life, and I know that it will be a great time in my life. I also know that I will make friends and have a good experience no matter where I go. The issue is getting there.

It's pretty overwhelming to think about all the work that I have to do and the decisions that I have to make before getting there. But I'm confident that if I use my resources and do some serious research, I will get there.

In the meantime, I still feel like I have a million things to do and not enough time to do them. I feel like I have missed a ton of opportunities and already feel that I am coming too late in the game.

If you are finding yourself or your teen in a similar situation to mine, I have some good news for you! I have been doing a lot of research lately to make up for my previous lack of work, and I have found some great websites and tools to help us both out.

Here they are:

     http://www.cappex.com/ for help finding scholarships, organizing college trips, connecting with colleges, and so much more

    

http://www.kaptest.com/ for help with test prep (as horrible as it is, test scores are important)

http://www.collegeboard.org/ for help planning, getting information, and test prep (be sure to sign up to get one SAT question emailed to you everyday)

http://www.zinch.com/ for help finding scholarships and paying for college

http://www.eprep.com/ for test prep

http://www.forbes.com/2010/06/30/college-application-tips-lifestyle-education-admissions.html for an article about tips for applying to college


Of course, this is a very basic list of resources that I personally have found to be very helpful, and I hope that they will be of some use to you. Some of them are highly acclaimed websites, and I know that they will have more information than you will even want to read! Good luck with your college application process! I'm sure you will be hearing more about mine in the near future!


P.S. thanks to the following website for the image: http://www.google.com/imgres?q=books&start=216&um=1&hl=en&qscrl=1&nord=1&rlz=1T4TSNA_enUS391US400&biw=1366&bih=613&addh=36&tbm=isch&tbnid=liI97SgU0INSWM:&imgrefurl=http://publishingcentral.com/blog/tag/childrens-books&docid=NrnSxYmyIOlMJM&imgurl=http://publishingcentral.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2009/07/books_l.jpg&w=300&h=267&ei=FzoMULLoFub30gHr2dHRAw&zoom=1&iact=hc&vpx=322&vpy=288&dur=2457&hovh=212&hovw=238&tx=145&ty=148&sig=104007103313082174013&page=9&tbnh=132&tbnw=148&ndsp=30&ved=1t:429,r:9,s:216,i:129

Learning that Adults Aren't Always Right

Just because someone is older than you, that doesn't make them wiser, and it certainly doesn't mean that you should always listen to them. Respect them, yes. Expect that they're always right, no.

That is a tough lesson for teenager to learn, and unfortunately, I had to learn it over the past few weeks. I've had some issues with teachers at my school, and I did my best to handle everything with respect and maturity by sending emails and having a meeting with the principal. And after many attempts to share my opinion and tell them that what they are doing is wrong, I was shoved aside and rudely confronted.

I thought that adults were taught not to talk to children like that. I thought that they would at least consider my opinions. Nope. They handled the entire situation in a more child-like way than me. I had to be the adult, and that was not right. Talk about role reversal.

I've never been so frustrated and angry in my whole life, and I felt like (and still feel like) I have no control over my own learning and that my feelings and ideas have no weight. It's an awful feeling to know you're so worthless when it comes to changing the system. And so lonely. I wish I could do something, and now I know that I've done all I can, and it didn't work.





I'm really lucky, though, that my whole family was right behind me, supporting me through it all. I needed them, and they really came through. Thanks, family.

Who is Qin and why should I know him?

Holiday break arrived with the playing of games and the laughter of friends....and the ending of exams!

Finally!

I calculated my hours of studying for my 5 exams, each 2.5 hours, and I got to (duh dum dum): 37.33 hours of studying in less than one week. Whew. That's a lot. At least for me.

And as I was studying, I came up with another great metaphor for the school system/administration.

Pictured above is Qin Shihuangdi (I wouldn't check that spelling if I were you; I know it's not right). He doesn't look too nice, does he? Nope. Well he's not.

 Long story short, he is the self-proclaimed emperor who started the Qin Dynasty in China in the Classical Era (around 600BCE). His rule is characterized by harsh punishments and grueling public works projects, like the building of his tomb, which is famous for it's life sized terra cotta warriors.

The building of such incredible works caused ill will among the people and led to rebellions and such that eventually ended his rule.

Now how do you feel about him right now? You don't like old Qin, do you? You think he's mean and unfair and he got what he deserved, right?

Now let's generate all those angry feelings towards the school system.

Well, here's when the metaphor comes in. Bear with me here (yes, it's bear not bare. I looked it up), the school system is like Qin, and we, the students, are like the workers being forced into doing ridiculous tasks that don't benefit us at all (AKA building tombs=doing homework).

What I'm trying to say is that all of our "ill will" is eventually going to boil over, and we will rebel! I hope! Better be soon!

All I know is I'm way to burnt out from exams to start this whole rebellion, so someone else needs to start it!

Standardized Testing (part 1--it standardizes us)

The other day was the PSAT, which stands for....practice standardized....ummm. Okay, I'm not exactly sure. But it is a standardized test that high school students take, and depending on how you score, you can be offered scholarships or win scholarship opportunities.

Anyway, to give you a little perspective, this is a three hour test. Yes you read that correctly. It starts at 8am and ends at 11am with only 2 five minute breaks. And no, you are not allowed to leave the room to go to the bathroom, so don't even think about it. If your phone vibrates or a watch beeps, the test proctor must "destroy" your answer sheet. You are not allowed to continue to the test (obviously).

Here's a sample math problem from collegeboard.com for you just to let you have a go at it (try it, it could be fun):

In the figure above, AD is a diameter of the circle with center O and AO = 5. What is the length of arc BCD ?

(A)

(B)

(C)

(D)

(E)

Or if you really hate math, try this question from the writing section:

Identify the error.

Yeah, you thought that was fun? Try 3 hours of it!

Anyway, after taking this, I started thinking about standardized testing in general. How is it fair? How can anyone make a test in which every student has an equal opportunity to do well on it? You can't! And how can the score that we get on this test represent us and identify us in the way that it does? It shouldn't!

Everyone learns, studies, and applies themselves differently. But yet, we are all put under the same conditions while taking it. Standardized testing standardizes us, essentially. It tells us that we are all the same, that we learn the same way, study, and apply ourselves in the same way, and that if Sam does better than Molly on the PSAT, then Sam is smarter. But that may not be true. Maybe Molly is brilliant at Math, but she needs scrap paper and highlighters to solve a problem. Does that make her any dumber? No! But that is precisely what standardized tests tell us--that Sam is smarter.

Now, unfortunately, I have not thought of an alternative to standardized tests...yet. But what I do know, is that we should be tested in a way that is as fair as possible and that tests us in a way that is most beneficial (i.e. not asking about things that we will never use the rest of our lives).

By the way, the answers from above are D and D. Now, when was the last time you needed to know any of that stuff, anyway?


More to come on what to do about standardized tests (cracking the code).

Homecoming Dance--no creative title sorry

So, Homecoming is this weekend. I can't exactly say I'm excited. I mean, the music is terrible, the dancing is nonexistant, and I know that there will be a ridiculous amount of grinding going on.

For those of you who are thinking, "Grinding? What is grinding? Like cheese?" I have some very sad news for you. No, grinding is...well...it's awkward to explain. It's a girl rubbing her backside up against a guy's frontside. Yeah. Awkward. And kids do it and call it dancing. Trust me, it's not dancing. It's disgusting. Especially for freshmen to see a bunch of seniors grinding, it's quite scarring for a naive 14-year-old.

And besides averting my eyes as fellow classmates try out grinding for themselves, I know that I will experience severe disappointment upon watching the dance floor clear out at 11:30 so people can go get drunk at afterparties.

And even worse, on Monday morning, I will see extremely hungover faces all day and hear bits and pieces of stories about wild parties and how "John had 4 shots in 3 minutes" or how "she threw up all over the floor" or even "then we had sex."

Yep. That's all normal conversation the week after homecoming. And I will have to hear all of it and turn away in disgust. Even my friends, good people, good kids. Even they will fall victim to peer pressure and will eventually give in.

Now you see why I'm not all that excited for this weekend?


So, now you ask what you are supposed to do about all this?
Well, you can
  a) make your  child stay home from the dance (which is kind of cruel)
 b) let your kid go to the dance and go to whatever afterparties he/she wants to and let them suffer the consequences
   c) let your kid go to the dance and one after party that you approve of---talk to the parents of the kid who is hosting the party, or have your kid call you when they leave the dance and when they leave the party or even every hour to make sure they're okay


I would say C is the best option, but it's up to you.
I'll let you know how it all goes.

Cheater Cheater Pants on Fire...wait, that's not right

I know of a lot of people in school who cheat.

When you ask most of them why, they say, "I don't know. Because I wanted to chill out."

I also know of a lot of people who don't cheat.

But when you ask most of them why they don't, they say,  "I don't know. Because they told me not to."

Well, honestly then, the people that don't cheat are just cheaters who follow the rules.
Basically, they would cheat if they knew they would never got caught.

That's bad.

Alright, not to get too scholarly on you, but we're learning about philosophies and religion in World History, and now I'm starting to think about Legalism and Confucianism.

Legalism: maintain order and control through fear, strict laws, and harsh punishmenmts
People obey out of fear, not will

Confucianism: people are focused on becoming morally good people and reaching state of  "superior being," emphasized doing the right thing and following a righteous leader's example, maintain order by making people morally driven, have shame if they don't do what is expected/right

So, keeping in mind the above, which tacics do you think the school systems use to discourage cheating?

Legalism? Yeah I think so, too.
It's not their moral code and sense of shame that keeps them from cheating, it's their fear of punishment.

But what is that teaching us? To learn how to "get away with it."

I mean, why bother following a law or a rule if you're only doing it so you won't get caught? Don't you have to believe in it and agree with it a little more than that?

The answer: yes!

Not cheating and being fair should be instilled in us as part of our character. It's one of the best lessons we can learn as teens. But unfortunately, too many school emphasize the wrong thing, and we keep getting the same message:

"Don't cheat!"

Who? Us
What? Cheating
Where? In school
When? 8am-3pm
Why? Uhh...I don't know


So, what can you do to give your kid some moral direction?
 Talk to them!
Ask about how they feel about integrity and cheating.
Ask why they think they shouldn't cheat and if it really matters to them.
Ask what cheating is...and not just in a school setting (after all, this isn't just for school)

Let them know that you take it seriously, and more importantly, WHY you do.

Bottom Line: Teach us integrity for life, not just for now.

The Lunch Table...

    Most mothers consider lunch to be just a normal part of the day. You eat. You talk. Then you go back to work. In a teenager's case, it's a bit different. To most people, lunch is everything, and where you sit can mean the difference between being prom queen and being dumped in the trashcan.

But there's no mobility between the classes...sorry...tables (just finished World History reading). Sitting at a different lunch table is like crossing boundaries into enemy territory. Literally. You don't want to mess with those plaid clad girls. They can get pretty fierce defending their turf.

First, as you start walking over to the table, red tray in hand, or worse: a bagged lunch, you get a general stare in your direction, as if to say, "You must be going past us." Then, you inch a bit closer, take a huge deep breath, and set the tray down at the empty seat on the end of the table.
That's when it gets bad. The dropped jaws and bulging eyes are definitely a bad sign. You shrug and grin and say with your voice as not shaky as you can manage, "Hey, it's a free country! I'm Mary.What's your name?" Even though you know full well what their names are. But they're still glaring as you open up your crinkling brown bag in their silence. You weren't expecting a reply on the first day.
The rest of lunch you continue to be the center of conversation, although, you're never actually included in it. They sneer and gape and whisper beneath their manicured hands. And you, for goodness sakes, just keep munching on your PB and J, pretending to be oblivious, though the fragments you hear are really cutting your self-confidence down to an all time low.
At the end of lunch (you can't believe you made it through the whole 45 minutes), you get up, say "Bye guys" as if you've been best friends all along, throw your bag away, and walk off to the next class alone, all the while knowing that tomorrow you will be sitting with them again. Because you have to.

Alright, maybe it's not THAT bad, but you get the point. But why does it have to be that way? Why are you always defined by who you sit with, yet you can't sit anywhere but where you are already sitting? Why do you have to stay confined in one little seat at one little table when there's the whole cafeteria to explore? Why do other people make the rules about where you sit? Why not you? And then, why does poor Mary even want to sit with those people? What can she gain from changing her place on the social spectrum? Friends like those girls? They seemed real nice...not.

Anyway, as always, this has turned into a rant, but there will be more on lunch tables and on popularity later.

Back to the Books

"Beep! Beep! Beep!"

Then comes the groan and the terrible realization that this is actually not part of a dream, that it is the beginning of a very real nightmare: the first day of school. 

And once your fuzzy head figures that much out, you decide that that alarm is about the worst sound in the entire world. It's bad. Very bad.

But you already know that we hate the first day of school, that we dread it for weeks, that we try to pretend summer is everlasting, that we lie to you about when the first day is. You know all that. But Why? Why do we hate it so much? And How can you help us get through the year? Those are the questions!

Honestly, yes, we do hate school because of the work: the busy-work that bogs us down and doesn't teach us anything. We would much rather spend lazy days by the pool than glue a book to our forehead and a pencil to our hand. That's the simple answer.

But when you think about it, it makes sense. We can actually learn a lot more from our families, our peers, and our own travels and experiences, than we can from lessons in a classroom. Our minds expand far beyond white boards, why not let them? The stress and pressures that accompany school and the emphasis put on getting good grades so you can go to college and make lots of money puts kids in a bad and potentially dangerous "learning environment." For, how can anyone learn under those conditions?

But that's the system. The awful horrible system that's trying to create robots out of humans, perfect students, athletes, artists, and leaders all in one. So, what can you do, as a parent?

For those of you who have teens in high school (or even 8th grade), please do them and yourselves a favor. Go rent or look up or somehow find the movie Race to Nowhere. A mom, yes, a real life mother made a video about the difficulties of being a student in our corrupt society. Maybe it will empower you to talk to the school principal. Get a showing of it at your child's school. Or have a discussion group. Spread the word. Make an effort to reform the system. That will matter so much to your teen. But, at the very least, give your child a break sometimes. Give 'em a hug. Tell them that the bad grade they got on their math test isn't the most important thing in the world and that there may be extra credit. Let them know that you care about them, as a person, not just as a number, not as a GPA. Make sure that they know that their mental and emotional health is more important than getting that A+.

How else can you help relieve some stress and give them a more positive attitude towards school?
Make your teen plan at least one event per month (on the weekend) that he or she is really looking forward to attending. Give them something to look forward to so that they have a brighter look on the year instead of just seeing a pile of work.

Sorry that this back to school post ended up turning into an angry rant against the school systems, but I feel very strongly about this, and although it's almost too late for my class, it may not be for your child's. So put the emphasis on learning, not on grades. Because that's the most important thing.