A Cynical Look at the Holidays

We all know that it's holiday season. Yes, the most stressful, but supposedly the most cheerful time of year. People try to stretch their wallets in an attempt to buy people's happiness. Brilliant. That sounds lovely.

Instead of showing love by hugs and kisses, we show our love by how much money we spend and what we spend it on. Sometimes it would be better (not to mention cheaper) to tell someone "I love you" than to buy a heart-shaped diamond necklace to say it for you....or to not say it.

Maybe we're just trying to find a way around saying what we want (or don't want, but think we should) say to each other. Maybe that necklace is supposed to make her feel that you love her, but even though you may want to, you don't. Or maybe that brand new ipod touch for you daughter who you never talk to is supposed to make her feel like you're there for her all the time and that you care about her, and maybe you're trying to make up for all the times she gets in the car and you're on a conference call, but really, you know nothing is going to change between the two of you.

It's almost like the gift and the money are supposed to trick someone from discovering the truth about how you feel. Like a diversion. It's disguised by bows and wrapping paper and fluff and all so you won't be found out. "Well surely after she gets this, she won't need me to tell her I love her...because I don't." All so that no one discovers your little secret.

It's a cynical way to look at things, I know. And maybe I'm completely wrong. But all I've been seeing lately is a ton of traffic around the malls, crowded parking lots, scuffed shoes, stressed faces, and crying children. People honk more on our way to school in the mornings, and it's harder and harder to merge because no one will let us in.

Now, is that what the holidays should do to us? Make us rude and inconsiderate and dishonest?

 I doubt that all this was part of the plan.

I mean, where is the love?

Who is Qin and why should I know him?

Holiday break arrived with the playing of games and the laughter of friends....and the ending of exams!

Finally!

I calculated my hours of studying for my 5 exams, each 2.5 hours, and I got to (duh dum dum): 37.33 hours of studying in less than one week. Whew. That's a lot. At least for me.

And as I was studying, I came up with another great metaphor for the school system/administration.

Pictured above is Qin Shihuangdi (I wouldn't check that spelling if I were you; I know it's not right). He doesn't look too nice, does he? Nope. Well he's not.

 Long story short, he is the self-proclaimed emperor who started the Qin Dynasty in China in the Classical Era (around 600BCE). His rule is characterized by harsh punishments and grueling public works projects, like the building of his tomb, which is famous for it's life sized terra cotta warriors.

The building of such incredible works caused ill will among the people and led to rebellions and such that eventually ended his rule.

Now how do you feel about him right now? You don't like old Qin, do you? You think he's mean and unfair and he got what he deserved, right?

Now let's generate all those angry feelings towards the school system.

Well, here's when the metaphor comes in. Bear with me here (yes, it's bear not bare. I looked it up), the school system is like Qin, and we, the students, are like the workers being forced into doing ridiculous tasks that don't benefit us at all (AKA building tombs=doing homework).

What I'm trying to say is that all of our "ill will" is eventually going to boil over, and we will rebel! I hope! Better be soon!

All I know is I'm way to burnt out from exams to start this whole rebellion, so someone else needs to start it!

The Ex Problem

   Last Saturday night, I went to a birthday party (yes, people my age still have birthday parties). There was food, dancing, singing, laughter, photos, the usual. So I was with some of my girlfriends, enjoying myself, feeling like a dancing queen, laughing at some jokes that are only funny on late nights, singing with a fake microphone in my hands, and then, through the crowd, in mid sentence, I saw....my ex.

   Oh great. Not that we're enemies or anything, but after our 6 month relationship (which is a long time for high schoolers), we didn't end on a good note. At all.

   Now whenever I see him, I'm not sure whether to avert my eyes or pretend I don't see him or try to look extra pretty and giggly or wave and smile. It's just this uncomfortable phase, and neither of us seem to know what to do. We do know one thing: neither of us are talking to eachother. Normally this awkward stage after relationships ends after a month or so, then it's just over. For us, it's not so smooth.

It's been 9 months.

    It would be easier just not to see him at all, but going to the same school, a small school, doesn't make that possible.

So we just continued or odd routine of not talking to eachother but taking turns staring at one another across the room. And we probably will continue it for a long time to come.

Turkey Day

Since most bloggers are posting about Thanksgiving...I'll follow the crowd and do the same. That's what teenagers do, right?

This Thanksgiving was wonderful. Really. Usually there's a lot of yelling and screaming from the revival of long-debated family arguments, lots of traveling, packing and unpacking, cooking, broken dishes, the dropping of the stuffing on the tile floor, cranberry jello mold recipe issues, heated discussions about the tablecloth's flocking (still have no clue what they're talking about), and plenty more.

But this year...everything was the same. The only difference was it was all at our house. Yep. 10 family members ranging from teens to people pushing 90 all crammed around the same table. Yikes. I won't lie, making up the seating chart was a challenge. "He smells bad." "No, they'll get in a fight." "I hope they don't start talking politics." "Can we a play a game after dinner?" "She can't hear a thing, so let's not put them together." "I'm sitting here. Done."

But even with all that, it was still nice to have the family together. Especially after watching a show last night about homeless children and the stuggle that they overcome: living in trucks, not having enough food, dealing with issues like those and still doing school work and community service. They love their families despite their close living quarters, and they admire their parents through it all. It makes me appreciate the quirks that my relatives have and to love them in spite of their flaws.

So even though you may think that we teens just sit at the Thanksgiving table for the food and stay there with our arms crossed and our mouths shut, chances are we are giving our family a good look. And hopefully, we're realizing that you're not so bad after all.

Lingo

"Hey bro what's up"

"Hey man, wanna chill after school?"

"Nah I can't...or I'm gonna bomb that Geo. test tomorrow."

So, how much of that conversation did you understand?

Now how much did you really get?

Well, it's okay. We, as teens, have some weird lingo, but I'm here to help you get it straight (cue heroic music from The Incredibles).

Here are some commonly used words and phrases by teens:
]
I know, right---meaning I agree
dude---friendly way to address someone
I just bombed that----when referring to a test or a task, failed
hott---good looking
texting---writing messsages over the phone
facebooking----communicate via facebook
friend (on fb)---to accept a friend request on facebook
flexin'----showing off
stud/stud muffin----cool person ("What a stud!")
stalking---not like criminal stalking, just paying attention to or texting a lot ("He's so stalking me.")
I'm good---I'm fine, no thanks
bromance---guys in a close friendship
lax bro---guy who plays lacrosse
duh----of course in a sarcastic how-did-you-not-know-that kind of way
ripped----really muscular
stoked---really excited
swagga---a walk or a strut or the way someone carries themselves, style
twitter---site in which you type statuses saying what you're doing or thinking
tweet---a status update or the act of updating your status

Of course, there will always be different words "trending" at each moment, but at least these are some for now. For example, not too long ago, everyone said "uber." "That's uber cool" or you're "uber awesome" or whatever, but now you never hear that anymore. Right now you hear words like the ones above, but in another couple of months, there will probably be a new set words. Sorry, that's just the way it works! Luckily, you can always google them or check on urbandictionary.com, which I'll warn you can be a little racy with a lot of curse words,  but it'll get you what you need.

I didn't even start talking about texting language; that's a whole 'nother story.

"You're Fat"

Here's a tip: when talking to your teenage daughter, don't mention weight. Ever.

As teens, we are very sensitive and very concerned with our appearance. And if you say something like, "That doesn't fit you anymore." We don't take it well.

Basically, in our minds, that translates to "You're fat."


Now, I get it, that's totally not what you are saying. You're making a harmless comment that has more to do with your concern about boys chasing us because of a tight top than with our needing to lose weight.

Unfortunately, you've got to be even more sensitive. We're talking baby-sensitive. Because it's all in the way that we perceive your comments, not necessarily what you actually say.

Right about now, you're thinking, "Well, what? Am I just not supposed to say anything ever because my teen always misunderstands me? That's ridiculous!"

Well, No! Just stay off the topic of weight. It's a sore subject, and it's hard for most of us to hear about. We're already so self-conscious about our bodies. All the time, I hear things like, "I'm fat" or "I need to work out now, that was 200 calories," or "I have to lose like 10 lbs."


Our body images can get seriously low when we're bombarded with too-thin models and barbie doll figures on TV all the time.

The best thing you can do for us is tell us we're beautiful, no matter what shape or size, exactly the way we are. Every girl and woman wants to feel pretty. Help us to feel that way. We need your compliments sometimes, not just our friends'.

Take out those Earphones

"John, can you pass the milk?"

No movement.

"JOHN!"

He lifts up his head and pulls out his earbud. "Are you talking to me?"

Sigh.


Does this sound typical? Probably. Man, that's got to be frustrating.

You probably wonder, why is it that teenager are always plugged in? Either to an ipod or the computer or something. Why are we constantly bombarding ourselves with music and other technologies?

Well, I think for some of us, it's an escape. From what, you ask? Honestly,...from you. I know, that's
 a sad thing to hear. It's one of the things that we have control over in our lives, and we flaunt that freedom to choose what kind of music to listen to and when to listen to it. By listening to it, we are tuning out the real world and escaping into our own for a while, a world where we have all the influence.

Some studies do say that when teens use music to escape all the time, it could be a sign of depression, so just watch out.

There's also a really interesting New York Times articles about the effect that music has on teens. Do explicit songs or songs referencing drugs, sex, or alcohol affect our actions? Are we more likely to do drugs if we listen to songs that glorify them? Well, that's why this article is interesting. It has scientific research to back up theories, so I won't even try to explain it. I'm not qualified. Here's the link: NYT article

Lastly, what kind of music does your teen listen to? Do you know? Well, that's a good thing to find out. I'm not saying go be invasive and look through your kid's ipod, just ask, "What song is that?" Maybe you'll find that you have something in common. Who knows?

Standardized Testing (part 2-what to do about them)

So, now that we've covered how awful standardized testing, let's look at what to do about it.

See if you can get this one right:

You can...
     a) study like crazy and learn everything in the world that you possibly can
     b) blow it off and not study at all
     c) put B for every answer since it's one of the most common answers and hope to get some right
     d) study smart and little by little

I sure hope that you said D (even though B is the most common answer choice)!

There are some really great books, classes, and websites that are really helpful when studying for the PSAT or SAT. And the best part is, you can find and use resources for free. Yes, you heard that correctly. One more time? For free!


Here are a couple of sites/books/etc that you might want to check out for your teen:

kaplan.com

eprep.com

test overview information

collegeboard.com

books

 And literally hundreds more...just google it!

Of course, most of these people will try to sell you something, but there are free options, just keep searching the site. Some of the websites have free practice tests and help sessions in an online chat room every so often. Or other free diagnostics are available.

This isn't exactly a fun process, but know that though these tests are unfair by my standards, there is a way to "crack the code" and do well. Once you learn the formula to doing well (notice I said formula, not information---it's not always about how knowledgeable you are; it's about how well you can take a test), it's no problem!


Good luck studying!

Standardized Testing (part 1--it standardizes us)

The other day was the PSAT, which stands for....practice standardized....ummm. Okay, I'm not exactly sure. But it is a standardized test that high school students take, and depending on how you score, you can be offered scholarships or win scholarship opportunities.

Anyway, to give you a little perspective, this is a three hour test. Yes you read that correctly. It starts at 8am and ends at 11am with only 2 five minute breaks. And no, you are not allowed to leave the room to go to the bathroom, so don't even think about it. If your phone vibrates or a watch beeps, the test proctor must "destroy" your answer sheet. You are not allowed to continue to the test (obviously).

Here's a sample math problem from collegeboard.com for you just to let you have a go at it (try it, it could be fun):

In the figure above, AD is a diameter of the circle with center O and AO = 5. What is the length of arc BCD ?

(A)

(B)

(C)

(D)

(E)

Or if you really hate math, try this question from the writing section:

Identify the error.

Yeah, you thought that was fun? Try 3 hours of it!

Anyway, after taking this, I started thinking about standardized testing in general. How is it fair? How can anyone make a test in which every student has an equal opportunity to do well on it? You can't! And how can the score that we get on this test represent us and identify us in the way that it does? It shouldn't!

Everyone learns, studies, and applies themselves differently. But yet, we are all put under the same conditions while taking it. Standardized testing standardizes us, essentially. It tells us that we are all the same, that we learn the same way, study, and apply ourselves in the same way, and that if Sam does better than Molly on the PSAT, then Sam is smarter. But that may not be true. Maybe Molly is brilliant at Math, but she needs scrap paper and highlighters to solve a problem. Does that make her any dumber? No! But that is precisely what standardized tests tell us--that Sam is smarter.

Now, unfortunately, I have not thought of an alternative to standardized tests...yet. But what I do know, is that we should be tested in a way that is as fair as possible and that tests us in a way that is most beneficial (i.e. not asking about things that we will never use the rest of our lives).

By the way, the answers from above are D and D. Now, when was the last time you needed to know any of that stuff, anyway?


More to come on what to do about standardized tests (cracking the code).

Let's Talk Teen Angst

     Sometimes I feel really lonely and very...forgotten. When I haven't seen my best friend in months, my crush doesn't know I exist, school is stressing me out (PSAT, AP class, new teaching styles that don't work), my parents are busy with work and other stuff, my siblings are busy getting ready for college, during the day I find myself in empty hallways by myself more often than in crowded ones, I just feel kind of alone. I know that I'm blowing it out of proportion and that a lot of people care about me, they are just really busy. But at the same time, knowing what the reality is and how I feel are two different things. Sometimes (always), I can't control how I feel about something, even if I know that how I feel is "wrong."
  
    I had a great today at school today, but after school, when everyone left and I was there waiting to go home, it just went downhill. Horomones can set in at any moment, and unfortunately, today they hit me. You just start to make a mental list of all the bad things in your life, and you feel like everyone is putting a lot of pressure on you, but at the same time, it feels like no one really cares.
   
    And when you're sitting outside on the curb in your neighborhood and the sun is setting and the list just keeps getting longer, and your friend/mentor won't pick up her phone, that's when you start to cry. And you give yourself a few minutes, and you let down your hair so the passing cars don't stop and ask if you're okay. And you just let it out. And after you've had your tears (which can take moments or months depending on the specific situation, depression can result), you start making a list of all the good things in life, and you stand up, dust off the back of your jeans, and walk back to the house.

   At least that's my story. Take it as you will, but every teen, and every person, feels this way at some point in their life. Sometimes it's just something that lasts a day or a week, maybe when you're on your period, and you just have a rough couple of days. But other times, these deep feelings develop into something very serious, like depression. A lot of times teens with depression go undiagnosed because it's not considered serious, it's "just teen angst." But in reality, it's not the severity of the situation that necessarily matters, it's the reaction to it and the feelings that a person has.

  So, to put this is graphical terms (not sure if that makes sense...), I will show you a little what we're doing in math. The y variable (verticle line) depends on the x variable (horizontal line).

   Most people would think that that the situation a person is in goes on the x axis and therfore affects the emotion on the y axis. I think that's true initially. But then I think it flips, so that the emotion and the mindset affects the situation. Becoming depressed can affect your entire life, in school, out of school, all the time.

  Example: A bad day caused by small things (like forgetting your lunch) can affect you emotions. But if you wallow in those emotions and let them eat away at you, then the emotion stats affecting your situation. Maybe you don't do your homework that night because you're just upset. And the next day you don't go to school. Now the emotion is affecting your situation/life.

Bottom Line: Teens all have moments when they just complain. What's important is to differentiate between those times and the times when it really gets serious. Anyone can get depressed; it doesn't take a tragedy. Don't assume your child is okay because he or she doesn't have a "big problem" in life. "Teen Angst," which by the way, definitely isn't a condition restricted to teens, stems from insecurity. So the best thing that you can do for us it show us how much you love us.

More on depression later.

Homecoming Dance--no creative title sorry

So, Homecoming is this weekend. I can't exactly say I'm excited. I mean, the music is terrible, the dancing is nonexistant, and I know that there will be a ridiculous amount of grinding going on.

For those of you who are thinking, "Grinding? What is grinding? Like cheese?" I have some very sad news for you. No, grinding is...well...it's awkward to explain. It's a girl rubbing her backside up against a guy's frontside. Yeah. Awkward. And kids do it and call it dancing. Trust me, it's not dancing. It's disgusting. Especially for freshmen to see a bunch of seniors grinding, it's quite scarring for a naive 14-year-old.

And besides averting my eyes as fellow classmates try out grinding for themselves, I know that I will experience severe disappointment upon watching the dance floor clear out at 11:30 so people can go get drunk at afterparties.

And even worse, on Monday morning, I will see extremely hungover faces all day and hear bits and pieces of stories about wild parties and how "John had 4 shots in 3 minutes" or how "she threw up all over the floor" or even "then we had sex."

Yep. That's all normal conversation the week after homecoming. And I will have to hear all of it and turn away in disgust. Even my friends, good people, good kids. Even they will fall victim to peer pressure and will eventually give in.

Now you see why I'm not all that excited for this weekend?


So, now you ask what you are supposed to do about all this?
Well, you can
  a) make your  child stay home from the dance (which is kind of cruel)
 b) let your kid go to the dance and go to whatever afterparties he/she wants to and let them suffer the consequences
   c) let your kid go to the dance and one after party that you approve of---talk to the parents of the kid who is hosting the party, or have your kid call you when they leave the dance and when they leave the party or even every hour to make sure they're okay


I would say C is the best option, but it's up to you.
I'll let you know how it all goes.

Cheater Cheater Pants on Fire...wait, that's not right

I know of a lot of people in school who cheat.

When you ask most of them why, they say, "I don't know. Because I wanted to chill out."

I also know of a lot of people who don't cheat.

But when you ask most of them why they don't, they say,  "I don't know. Because they told me not to."

Well, honestly then, the people that don't cheat are just cheaters who follow the rules.
Basically, they would cheat if they knew they would never got caught.

That's bad.

Alright, not to get too scholarly on you, but we're learning about philosophies and religion in World History, and now I'm starting to think about Legalism and Confucianism.

Legalism: maintain order and control through fear, strict laws, and harsh punishmenmts
People obey out of fear, not will

Confucianism: people are focused on becoming morally good people and reaching state of  "superior being," emphasized doing the right thing and following a righteous leader's example, maintain order by making people morally driven, have shame if they don't do what is expected/right

So, keeping in mind the above, which tacics do you think the school systems use to discourage cheating?

Legalism? Yeah I think so, too.
It's not their moral code and sense of shame that keeps them from cheating, it's their fear of punishment.

But what is that teaching us? To learn how to "get away with it."

I mean, why bother following a law or a rule if you're only doing it so you won't get caught? Don't you have to believe in it and agree with it a little more than that?

The answer: yes!

Not cheating and being fair should be instilled in us as part of our character. It's one of the best lessons we can learn as teens. But unfortunately, too many school emphasize the wrong thing, and we keep getting the same message:

"Don't cheat!"

Who? Us
What? Cheating
Where? In school
When? 8am-3pm
Why? Uhh...I don't know


So, what can you do to give your kid some moral direction?
 Talk to them!
Ask about how they feel about integrity and cheating.
Ask why they think they shouldn't cheat and if it really matters to them.
Ask what cheating is...and not just in a school setting (after all, this isn't just for school)

Let them know that you take it seriously, and more importantly, WHY you do.

Bottom Line: Teach us integrity for life, not just for now.

What are guys thinking half the time?

Question for all you mothers out there:
What is the difference between guys and girls?
Very broad question, I know, but I really want to hear what your opinions are on this subject. See, today, I hung out with a guy (which I don't normally do, like ever), and he asked me to the school dance as friends. We talked a lot about guys vs. girls. 
Who's simpler? Who is more analytical? What will make a girl cry? Why do guys do outside of school and what drives them to do it? What will make a girl forgive you? What are the rules that guys have for each other concerning girls? And vice versa. 
 It was really interesting to hear the guy's perspective on all these things. I mean, what are guys thinking about all the time? Seriously. They may seem very non-complex, but at the same time, us girls never seem to understand them. They flirt with us, then go out with someone else. They tell us to go away, then ask us out. I don't get it. It's a lot like the movie "He's just not that into you." 
 But really, this time I need some advice and some answers from you! Help me out here. And if you have a teenage son, tell him to communicate not just over text, but also in person and to give girls chocolate! That's what gets us!! And for the mothers with daughters, tell them not to overanalyze every word that a guy says and every little thing that he does. If he brushes back his hair with his hands or just shakes his head to get it to move out of his eyes, it probably doesn't mean anything different. I learned that much today at least. 

The Lunch Table...

    Most mothers consider lunch to be just a normal part of the day. You eat. You talk. Then you go back to work. In a teenager's case, it's a bit different. To most people, lunch is everything, and where you sit can mean the difference between being prom queen and being dumped in the trashcan.

But there's no mobility between the classes...sorry...tables (just finished World History reading). Sitting at a different lunch table is like crossing boundaries into enemy territory. Literally. You don't want to mess with those plaid clad girls. They can get pretty fierce defending their turf.

First, as you start walking over to the table, red tray in hand, or worse: a bagged lunch, you get a general stare in your direction, as if to say, "You must be going past us." Then, you inch a bit closer, take a huge deep breath, and set the tray down at the empty seat on the end of the table.
That's when it gets bad. The dropped jaws and bulging eyes are definitely a bad sign. You shrug and grin and say with your voice as not shaky as you can manage, "Hey, it's a free country! I'm Mary.What's your name?" Even though you know full well what their names are. But they're still glaring as you open up your crinkling brown bag in their silence. You weren't expecting a reply on the first day.
The rest of lunch you continue to be the center of conversation, although, you're never actually included in it. They sneer and gape and whisper beneath their manicured hands. And you, for goodness sakes, just keep munching on your PB and J, pretending to be oblivious, though the fragments you hear are really cutting your self-confidence down to an all time low.
At the end of lunch (you can't believe you made it through the whole 45 minutes), you get up, say "Bye guys" as if you've been best friends all along, throw your bag away, and walk off to the next class alone, all the while knowing that tomorrow you will be sitting with them again. Because you have to.

Alright, maybe it's not THAT bad, but you get the point. But why does it have to be that way? Why are you always defined by who you sit with, yet you can't sit anywhere but where you are already sitting? Why do you have to stay confined in one little seat at one little table when there's the whole cafeteria to explore? Why do other people make the rules about where you sit? Why not you? And then, why does poor Mary even want to sit with those people? What can she gain from changing her place on the social spectrum? Friends like those girls? They seemed real nice...not.

Anyway, as always, this has turned into a rant, but there will be more on lunch tables and on popularity later.

Back to the Books

"Beep! Beep! Beep!"

Then comes the groan and the terrible realization that this is actually not part of a dream, that it is the beginning of a very real nightmare: the first day of school. 

And once your fuzzy head figures that much out, you decide that that alarm is about the worst sound in the entire world. It's bad. Very bad.

But you already know that we hate the first day of school, that we dread it for weeks, that we try to pretend summer is everlasting, that we lie to you about when the first day is. You know all that. But Why? Why do we hate it so much? And How can you help us get through the year? Those are the questions!

Honestly, yes, we do hate school because of the work: the busy-work that bogs us down and doesn't teach us anything. We would much rather spend lazy days by the pool than glue a book to our forehead and a pencil to our hand. That's the simple answer.

But when you think about it, it makes sense. We can actually learn a lot more from our families, our peers, and our own travels and experiences, than we can from lessons in a classroom. Our minds expand far beyond white boards, why not let them? The stress and pressures that accompany school and the emphasis put on getting good grades so you can go to college and make lots of money puts kids in a bad and potentially dangerous "learning environment." For, how can anyone learn under those conditions?

But that's the system. The awful horrible system that's trying to create robots out of humans, perfect students, athletes, artists, and leaders all in one. So, what can you do, as a parent?

For those of you who have teens in high school (or even 8th grade), please do them and yourselves a favor. Go rent or look up or somehow find the movie Race to Nowhere. A mom, yes, a real life mother made a video about the difficulties of being a student in our corrupt society. Maybe it will empower you to talk to the school principal. Get a showing of it at your child's school. Or have a discussion group. Spread the word. Make an effort to reform the system. That will matter so much to your teen. But, at the very least, give your child a break sometimes. Give 'em a hug. Tell them that the bad grade they got on their math test isn't the most important thing in the world and that there may be extra credit. Let them know that you care about them, as a person, not just as a number, not as a GPA. Make sure that they know that their mental and emotional health is more important than getting that A+.

How else can you help relieve some stress and give them a more positive attitude towards school?
Make your teen plan at least one event per month (on the weekend) that he or she is really looking forward to attending. Give them something to look forward to so that they have a brighter look on the year instead of just seeing a pile of work.

Sorry that this back to school post ended up turning into an angry rant against the school systems, but I feel very strongly about this, and although it's almost too late for my class, it may not be for your child's. So put the emphasis on learning, not on grades. Because that's the most important thing.

Brace Face

"Brace Face"
"Metal Mouth"
"Railroad Tracks Teeth"
even "Dum Dum who can't chew gum gum"

Those are the actual results I got when I googled nicknames for kids with braces. Wow.

A lot of teens have braces and almost everyone goes through the awkward stage, the look-in-the-mirror-and-realize-that-you-had-a-big-piece-of-lettuce-from-lunch-stuck-in-the-wires-of-your-braces-when-you- were-talking-to-a-cute-guy stage, the I'm-not-going-to-refuse-popcorn-just-because-my-orthodontist-told-me-to stage.

And you know what? No one ever tells you when you have that piece of lettuce in your mouth. Nope. They just let you walk on out of the cafeteria and up to that boy, and they even let you have a whole conversation and strut down the hall with a huge smile, feeling all confident. And then, as you round the corner to the bathroom and rush to the mirror to make sure you looked okay when talking to him (not that it matters anymore...too late now), only now after you gape at the limp green vegetable do they say, "oh yeah I saw that." Well, why in the world didn't you tell me?

We all go through that as teens, but no one seems to want to help anyone else out. They just won't give a sista (or brotha) a hand. The sad truth is, there is and probably always will be those awkward food-in-the-braces moments and the "Brace Face" shouts. We just deal with it for a few years, and suddenly, high school hits and it seems everyone has perfectly straight pearly whites. Magic.


But I'm still waiting for that appointment to come. For now, I'm still just a "dum dum who can't chew gum gum" (although I sneak some every once in a while).

Counter Three

 First Time Driving 

(A.K.A. Day my mom lost all faith in me)

"Stop!" my mom yelled, "You're gonna hit it! You're gonna hit it! STOP!"

"Mom, I'm 10 feet away from that other car. Just chill out."

"No. Absolutely not. Get out of the car. Now."

And that was pretty much sums up all you need to know about my driving experience.

                6 Months Later

(Day of License Test. A.K.A. Day with mean old lady staring viciously at me from the passenger's seat, eyes darting to catch any and all mistakes)

"You need at least 80 hours of driving in the daylight---and 30 hours at night before you drive alone."

"Mom, are you kidding me? I passed the test, let me drive already!"

  One Week Later

"Can I drive?"

"No. Not today."

Well, one question for you, how does she expect me to do over 100 hours of driving, if she never lets me drive? 

Folks, meet my mother. She expects me to do the impossible. She "believes in me." Apparently not enough to let me take the wheel. Great. 

 Today, as I'm walking up to the DMV, the car keys feeling unnatural dangling from my hand, my mom turns to me, 

  

"Don't be nervous, honey."

Right, don't be nervous, because I'm going to fail anyway. 

 

She takes a seat on a sticky blue chair and waits for my number to be called, probably hoping there will be some sort of freak accident and it will be skipped over. 

 

No such luck. "Number 6005 at counter 3"

 

I'm sure that that as I finished my test and pulled in (very crookedly) to a parking space, that my mom was praying that I had failed miserably and would have to wait at least another year before attempting the test again. 

 

But, to my incredible surprise, I did pass.

Not that that changes anything, though. I still have 110 more hours of practice before I can actually drive without Mommy and Daddy next to me. 

It's a long road of driving ahead, so look out highway, here I come!

And for the record, I was nowhere near that car.

"Summer Breeze Makes Me Feel Fine"

Now that school's out, the only things that teenagers, including myself, want to do, is have fun and relax. For too many years I've had what I call an "overscheduled summer." I had no time with friends, no time by the pool, and no time just to relax in front of the TV. I went from one camp to another program to a class to volunteer work, and before I knew it, school was starting again. All I really cared about the whole time was getting a chance to chill out a little.
But this summer is different. I have most of it (aside from two or three weeks planned weeks) to decide for myself. And contrary to popular belief, not all teens will go wild when given the opportunity to do whatever they want. I have a schedule for myself, which I've been following, and I'm having an awesome summer. I am getting to see my friends, tan by the pool, watch some TV, but I'm also doing some productive things, too. I'm exercising, taking driving lessons, and I've even cracked a book or two. What a shock!
I am confident that even though every hour of every day is not planned out, I will still have a great summer. And this way, I actually get to enjoy my summer. I know that I will return to school feeling rested and relaxed, instead of being tired and stressed out.
So don't feel like you have to schedule our summertime, let us do it ourselves and let yourslf be pleasantly surprised.
P.S. In case you're wondering when you've heard the title of this post before, look up Seals and Crofts.

Way back when...Prom Night

Prom.

Is there much need to say more? I'm sure you all remember it, but I'm not so sure that this generation will.

It would seem that not much has changed since your junior and senior proms: nervous guys fearing rejection get up the courage to ask a girl as their date, the girls, in turn, care 10x more about the dress than anything else and spend hours shopping for "the one" weeks in advance, restaurant reservations are debated, hair appointments are made, you know the drill. It can be a stressful, but fun and exciting time for the upperclassmen.

But let's face it. The buzz about prom isn't really about the dance. It's about "after prom." That's when the fun begins.

The kids drive up, and the beer comes out, and there's no telling what happens next. You wake up not knowing how much you drunk, who you made out with, or how far you went.
Here's the classic dialogue:
   
    Kid: Hey, my friend's having a party after prom. Can I sleepover at her house?
    Mom: Which friend?
    Kid: Uh, you know, Jane.

CAUTION! This is a trap! "Sleepover" is code for getting drunk, "hooking up", and getting high. It's an allibi, in a sense. That's not to say that Jane isn't having a sleepover at her house, but she may be having 50 kids over, and if one doesn't show up, Jane probably won't notice.
 
  Let your kid know how beautiful prom night can be. Don't let her sacrifice herself and her reputation (as so many people do). You don't need to party hard to make prom night special. It already is. So make sure your teen makes prom a memorable night, and one she can actually remember.

Moms, Listen Up!

     So, here it goes. I am a rogue teen, and this is my mission: to inform desperate mothers across the globe of what is really happening in high school. I will disclose what other teens won't dare tell their mothers. I will delve into serious issues that all teenagers face. I will discuss drugs, peer pressure, cliques, insecurities, grades, dating, student-teacher relationships, depression, the dreaded "s" word (sex), and so much more. Secrets are coming out, so Moms, listen up!
     First, you should know a little about me. On the outside, I'm your average teen. I go to school, do my homework, hang out with friends, text, and have a room with dirty clothing for a floor. But on the inside, I'm a bit different. I grew up going to a religious school, and that has made me an extremely moral girl. I don't cheat, don't lie, and definitely don't steal. I am a careful decision maker, and I only do what I am comfortable doing with my body. I work hard to do my best and be my best. I don't participate in a lot of the stereotypical "teen activities," but I'm definitely not clueless about them. I've dipped into all different social circles. I've been a cheerleader, a track runner (though not a very good one), a nerd, and a nature gal. This year I had my first boyfriend whom I dated for almost six months. I've been bullied and pressured, and that's only the beginning. I've been in many situations and can relate to many teens. I can read my classmates and pick up on little things here and there. I am a caring person, and I want all teens to have a chance at a good life. Though they may not want to share this with you, I will.