Take out those Earphones

"John, can you pass the milk?"

No movement.

"JOHN!"

He lifts up his head and pulls out his earbud. "Are you talking to me?"

Sigh.


Does this sound typical? Probably. Man, that's got to be frustrating.

You probably wonder, why is it that teenager are always plugged in? Either to an ipod or the computer or something. Why are we constantly bombarding ourselves with music and other technologies?

Well, I think for some of us, it's an escape. From what, you ask? Honestly,...from you. I know, that's
 a sad thing to hear. It's one of the things that we have control over in our lives, and we flaunt that freedom to choose what kind of music to listen to and when to listen to it. By listening to it, we are tuning out the real world and escaping into our own for a while, a world where we have all the influence.

Some studies do say that when teens use music to escape all the time, it could be a sign of depression, so just watch out.

There's also a really interesting New York Times articles about the effect that music has on teens. Do explicit songs or songs referencing drugs, sex, or alcohol affect our actions? Are we more likely to do drugs if we listen to songs that glorify them? Well, that's why this article is interesting. It has scientific research to back up theories, so I won't even try to explain it. I'm not qualified. Here's the link: NYT article

Lastly, what kind of music does your teen listen to? Do you know? Well, that's a good thing to find out. I'm not saying go be invasive and look through your kid's ipod, just ask, "What song is that?" Maybe you'll find that you have something in common. Who knows?

Standardized Testing (part 2-what to do about them)

So, now that we've covered how awful standardized testing, let's look at what to do about it.

See if you can get this one right:

You can...
     a) study like crazy and learn everything in the world that you possibly can
     b) blow it off and not study at all
     c) put B for every answer since it's one of the most common answers and hope to get some right
     d) study smart and little by little

I sure hope that you said D (even though B is the most common answer choice)!

There are some really great books, classes, and websites that are really helpful when studying for the PSAT or SAT. And the best part is, you can find and use resources for free. Yes, you heard that correctly. One more time? For free!


Here are a couple of sites/books/etc that you might want to check out for your teen:

kaplan.com

eprep.com

test overview information

collegeboard.com

books

 And literally hundreds more...just google it!

Of course, most of these people will try to sell you something, but there are free options, just keep searching the site. Some of the websites have free practice tests and help sessions in an online chat room every so often. Or other free diagnostics are available.

This isn't exactly a fun process, but know that though these tests are unfair by my standards, there is a way to "crack the code" and do well. Once you learn the formula to doing well (notice I said formula, not information---it's not always about how knowledgeable you are; it's about how well you can take a test), it's no problem!


Good luck studying!

Standardized Testing (part 1--it standardizes us)

The other day was the PSAT, which stands for....practice standardized....ummm. Okay, I'm not exactly sure. But it is a standardized test that high school students take, and depending on how you score, you can be offered scholarships or win scholarship opportunities.

Anyway, to give you a little perspective, this is a three hour test. Yes you read that correctly. It starts at 8am and ends at 11am with only 2 five minute breaks. And no, you are not allowed to leave the room to go to the bathroom, so don't even think about it. If your phone vibrates or a watch beeps, the test proctor must "destroy" your answer sheet. You are not allowed to continue to the test (obviously).

Here's a sample math problem from collegeboard.com for you just to let you have a go at it (try it, it could be fun):

In the figure above, AD is a diameter of the circle with center O and AO = 5. What is the length of arc BCD ?

(A)

(B)

(C)

(D)

(E)

Or if you really hate math, try this question from the writing section:

Identify the error.

Yeah, you thought that was fun? Try 3 hours of it!

Anyway, after taking this, I started thinking about standardized testing in general. How is it fair? How can anyone make a test in which every student has an equal opportunity to do well on it? You can't! And how can the score that we get on this test represent us and identify us in the way that it does? It shouldn't!

Everyone learns, studies, and applies themselves differently. But yet, we are all put under the same conditions while taking it. Standardized testing standardizes us, essentially. It tells us that we are all the same, that we learn the same way, study, and apply ourselves in the same way, and that if Sam does better than Molly on the PSAT, then Sam is smarter. But that may not be true. Maybe Molly is brilliant at Math, but she needs scrap paper and highlighters to solve a problem. Does that make her any dumber? No! But that is precisely what standardized tests tell us--that Sam is smarter.

Now, unfortunately, I have not thought of an alternative to standardized tests...yet. But what I do know, is that we should be tested in a way that is as fair as possible and that tests us in a way that is most beneficial (i.e. not asking about things that we will never use the rest of our lives).

By the way, the answers from above are D and D. Now, when was the last time you needed to know any of that stuff, anyway?


More to come on what to do about standardized tests (cracking the code).

Let's Talk Teen Angst

     Sometimes I feel really lonely and very...forgotten. When I haven't seen my best friend in months, my crush doesn't know I exist, school is stressing me out (PSAT, AP class, new teaching styles that don't work), my parents are busy with work and other stuff, my siblings are busy getting ready for college, during the day I find myself in empty hallways by myself more often than in crowded ones, I just feel kind of alone. I know that I'm blowing it out of proportion and that a lot of people care about me, they are just really busy. But at the same time, knowing what the reality is and how I feel are two different things. Sometimes (always), I can't control how I feel about something, even if I know that how I feel is "wrong."
  
    I had a great today at school today, but after school, when everyone left and I was there waiting to go home, it just went downhill. Horomones can set in at any moment, and unfortunately, today they hit me. You just start to make a mental list of all the bad things in your life, and you feel like everyone is putting a lot of pressure on you, but at the same time, it feels like no one really cares.
   
    And when you're sitting outside on the curb in your neighborhood and the sun is setting and the list just keeps getting longer, and your friend/mentor won't pick up her phone, that's when you start to cry. And you give yourself a few minutes, and you let down your hair so the passing cars don't stop and ask if you're okay. And you just let it out. And after you've had your tears (which can take moments or months depending on the specific situation, depression can result), you start making a list of all the good things in life, and you stand up, dust off the back of your jeans, and walk back to the house.

   At least that's my story. Take it as you will, but every teen, and every person, feels this way at some point in their life. Sometimes it's just something that lasts a day or a week, maybe when you're on your period, and you just have a rough couple of days. But other times, these deep feelings develop into something very serious, like depression. A lot of times teens with depression go undiagnosed because it's not considered serious, it's "just teen angst." But in reality, it's not the severity of the situation that necessarily matters, it's the reaction to it and the feelings that a person has.

  So, to put this is graphical terms (not sure if that makes sense...), I will show you a little what we're doing in math. The y variable (verticle line) depends on the x variable (horizontal line).

   Most people would think that that the situation a person is in goes on the x axis and therfore affects the emotion on the y axis. I think that's true initially. But then I think it flips, so that the emotion and the mindset affects the situation. Becoming depressed can affect your entire life, in school, out of school, all the time.

  Example: A bad day caused by small things (like forgetting your lunch) can affect you emotions. But if you wallow in those emotions and let them eat away at you, then the emotion stats affecting your situation. Maybe you don't do your homework that night because you're just upset. And the next day you don't go to school. Now the emotion is affecting your situation/life.

Bottom Line: Teens all have moments when they just complain. What's important is to differentiate between those times and the times when it really gets serious. Anyone can get depressed; it doesn't take a tragedy. Don't assume your child is okay because he or she doesn't have a "big problem" in life. "Teen Angst," which by the way, definitely isn't a condition restricted to teens, stems from insecurity. So the best thing that you can do for us it show us how much you love us.

More on depression later.