Learning that Adults Aren't Always Right

Just because someone is older than you, that doesn't make them wiser, and it certainly doesn't mean that you should always listen to them. Respect them, yes. Expect that they're always right, no.

That is a tough lesson for teenager to learn, and unfortunately, I had to learn it over the past few weeks. I've had some issues with teachers at my school, and I did my best to handle everything with respect and maturity by sending emails and having a meeting with the principal. And after many attempts to share my opinion and tell them that what they are doing is wrong, I was shoved aside and rudely confronted.

I thought that adults were taught not to talk to children like that. I thought that they would at least consider my opinions. Nope. They handled the entire situation in a more child-like way than me. I had to be the adult, and that was not right. Talk about role reversal.

I've never been so frustrated and angry in my whole life, and I felt like (and still feel like) I have no control over my own learning and that my feelings and ideas have no weight. It's an awful feeling to know you're so worthless when it comes to changing the system. And so lonely. I wish I could do something, and now I know that I've done all I can, and it didn't work.





I'm really lucky, though, that my whole family was right behind me, supporting me through it all. I needed them, and they really came through. Thanks, family.

A Cynical Look at the Holidays

We all know that it's holiday season. Yes, the most stressful, but supposedly the most cheerful time of year. People try to stretch their wallets in an attempt to buy people's happiness. Brilliant. That sounds lovely.

Instead of showing love by hugs and kisses, we show our love by how much money we spend and what we spend it on. Sometimes it would be better (not to mention cheaper) to tell someone "I love you" than to buy a heart-shaped diamond necklace to say it for you....or to not say it.

Maybe we're just trying to find a way around saying what we want (or don't want, but think we should) say to each other. Maybe that necklace is supposed to make her feel that you love her, but even though you may want to, you don't. Or maybe that brand new ipod touch for you daughter who you never talk to is supposed to make her feel like you're there for her all the time and that you care about her, and maybe you're trying to make up for all the times she gets in the car and you're on a conference call, but really, you know nothing is going to change between the two of you.

It's almost like the gift and the money are supposed to trick someone from discovering the truth about how you feel. Like a diversion. It's disguised by bows and wrapping paper and fluff and all so you won't be found out. "Well surely after she gets this, she won't need me to tell her I love her...because I don't." All so that no one discovers your little secret.

It's a cynical way to look at things, I know. And maybe I'm completely wrong. But all I've been seeing lately is a ton of traffic around the malls, crowded parking lots, scuffed shoes, stressed faces, and crying children. People honk more on our way to school in the mornings, and it's harder and harder to merge because no one will let us in.

Now, is that what the holidays should do to us? Make us rude and inconsiderate and dishonest?

 I doubt that all this was part of the plan.

I mean, where is the love?

Who is Qin and why should I know him?

Holiday break arrived with the playing of games and the laughter of friends....and the ending of exams!

Finally!

I calculated my hours of studying for my 5 exams, each 2.5 hours, and I got to (duh dum dum): 37.33 hours of studying in less than one week. Whew. That's a lot. At least for me.

And as I was studying, I came up with another great metaphor for the school system/administration.

Pictured above is Qin Shihuangdi (I wouldn't check that spelling if I were you; I know it's not right). He doesn't look too nice, does he? Nope. Well he's not.

 Long story short, he is the self-proclaimed emperor who started the Qin Dynasty in China in the Classical Era (around 600BCE). His rule is characterized by harsh punishments and grueling public works projects, like the building of his tomb, which is famous for it's life sized terra cotta warriors.

The building of such incredible works caused ill will among the people and led to rebellions and such that eventually ended his rule.

Now how do you feel about him right now? You don't like old Qin, do you? You think he's mean and unfair and he got what he deserved, right?

Now let's generate all those angry feelings towards the school system.

Well, here's when the metaphor comes in. Bear with me here (yes, it's bear not bare. I looked it up), the school system is like Qin, and we, the students, are like the workers being forced into doing ridiculous tasks that don't benefit us at all (AKA building tombs=doing homework).

What I'm trying to say is that all of our "ill will" is eventually going to boil over, and we will rebel! I hope! Better be soon!

All I know is I'm way to burnt out from exams to start this whole rebellion, so someone else needs to start it!

The Ex Problem

   Last Saturday night, I went to a birthday party (yes, people my age still have birthday parties). There was food, dancing, singing, laughter, photos, the usual. So I was with some of my girlfriends, enjoying myself, feeling like a dancing queen, laughing at some jokes that are only funny on late nights, singing with a fake microphone in my hands, and then, through the crowd, in mid sentence, I saw....my ex.

   Oh great. Not that we're enemies or anything, but after our 6 month relationship (which is a long time for high schoolers), we didn't end on a good note. At all.

   Now whenever I see him, I'm not sure whether to avert my eyes or pretend I don't see him or try to look extra pretty and giggly or wave and smile. It's just this uncomfortable phase, and neither of us seem to know what to do. We do know one thing: neither of us are talking to eachother. Normally this awkward stage after relationships ends after a month or so, then it's just over. For us, it's not so smooth.

It's been 9 months.

    It would be easier just not to see him at all, but going to the same school, a small school, doesn't make that possible.

So we just continued or odd routine of not talking to eachother but taking turns staring at one another across the room. And we probably will continue it for a long time to come.

Turkey Day

Since most bloggers are posting about Thanksgiving...I'll follow the crowd and do the same. That's what teenagers do, right?

This Thanksgiving was wonderful. Really. Usually there's a lot of yelling and screaming from the revival of long-debated family arguments, lots of traveling, packing and unpacking, cooking, broken dishes, the dropping of the stuffing on the tile floor, cranberry jello mold recipe issues, heated discussions about the tablecloth's flocking (still have no clue what they're talking about), and plenty more.

But this year...everything was the same. The only difference was it was all at our house. Yep. 10 family members ranging from teens to people pushing 90 all crammed around the same table. Yikes. I won't lie, making up the seating chart was a challenge. "He smells bad." "No, they'll get in a fight." "I hope they don't start talking politics." "Can we a play a game after dinner?" "She can't hear a thing, so let's not put them together." "I'm sitting here. Done."

But even with all that, it was still nice to have the family together. Especially after watching a show last night about homeless children and the stuggle that they overcome: living in trucks, not having enough food, dealing with issues like those and still doing school work and community service. They love their families despite their close living quarters, and they admire their parents through it all. It makes me appreciate the quirks that my relatives have and to love them in spite of their flaws.

So even though you may think that we teens just sit at the Thanksgiving table for the food and stay there with our arms crossed and our mouths shut, chances are we are giving our family a good look. And hopefully, we're realizing that you're not so bad after all.

Lingo

"Hey bro what's up"

"Hey man, wanna chill after school?"

"Nah I can't...or I'm gonna bomb that Geo. test tomorrow."

So, how much of that conversation did you understand?

Now how much did you really get?

Well, it's okay. We, as teens, have some weird lingo, but I'm here to help you get it straight (cue heroic music from The Incredibles).

Here are some commonly used words and phrases by teens:
]
I know, right---meaning I agree
dude---friendly way to address someone
I just bombed that----when referring to a test or a task, failed
hott---good looking
texting---writing messsages over the phone
facebooking----communicate via facebook
friend (on fb)---to accept a friend request on facebook
flexin'----showing off
stud/stud muffin----cool person ("What a stud!")
stalking---not like criminal stalking, just paying attention to or texting a lot ("He's so stalking me.")
I'm good---I'm fine, no thanks
bromance---guys in a close friendship
lax bro---guy who plays lacrosse
duh----of course in a sarcastic how-did-you-not-know-that kind of way
ripped----really muscular
stoked---really excited
swagga---a walk or a strut or the way someone carries themselves, style
twitter---site in which you type statuses saying what you're doing or thinking
tweet---a status update or the act of updating your status

Of course, there will always be different words "trending" at each moment, but at least these are some for now. For example, not too long ago, everyone said "uber." "That's uber cool" or you're "uber awesome" or whatever, but now you never hear that anymore. Right now you hear words like the ones above, but in another couple of months, there will probably be a new set words. Sorry, that's just the way it works! Luckily, you can always google them or check on urbandictionary.com, which I'll warn you can be a little racy with a lot of curse words,  but it'll get you what you need.

I didn't even start talking about texting language; that's a whole 'nother story.

"You're Fat"

Here's a tip: when talking to your teenage daughter, don't mention weight. Ever.

As teens, we are very sensitive and very concerned with our appearance. And if you say something like, "That doesn't fit you anymore." We don't take it well.

Basically, in our minds, that translates to "You're fat."


Now, I get it, that's totally not what you are saying. You're making a harmless comment that has more to do with your concern about boys chasing us because of a tight top than with our needing to lose weight.

Unfortunately, you've got to be even more sensitive. We're talking baby-sensitive. Because it's all in the way that we perceive your comments, not necessarily what you actually say.

Right about now, you're thinking, "Well, what? Am I just not supposed to say anything ever because my teen always misunderstands me? That's ridiculous!"

Well, No! Just stay off the topic of weight. It's a sore subject, and it's hard for most of us to hear about. We're already so self-conscious about our bodies. All the time, I hear things like, "I'm fat" or "I need to work out now, that was 200 calories," or "I have to lose like 10 lbs."


Our body images can get seriously low when we're bombarded with too-thin models and barbie doll figures on TV all the time.

The best thing you can do for us is tell us we're beautiful, no matter what shape or size, exactly the way we are. Every girl and woman wants to feel pretty. Help us to feel that way. We need your compliments sometimes, not just our friends'.