Learning that Adults Aren't Always Right

Just because someone is older than you, that doesn't make them wiser, and it certainly doesn't mean that you should always listen to them. Respect them, yes. Expect that they're always right, no.

That is a tough lesson for teenager to learn, and unfortunately, I had to learn it over the past few weeks. I've had some issues with teachers at my school, and I did my best to handle everything with respect and maturity by sending emails and having a meeting with the principal. And after many attempts to share my opinion and tell them that what they are doing is wrong, I was shoved aside and rudely confronted.

I thought that adults were taught not to talk to children like that. I thought that they would at least consider my opinions. Nope. They handled the entire situation in a more child-like way than me. I had to be the adult, and that was not right. Talk about role reversal.

I've never been so frustrated and angry in my whole life, and I felt like (and still feel like) I have no control over my own learning and that my feelings and ideas have no weight. It's an awful feeling to know you're so worthless when it comes to changing the system. And so lonely. I wish I could do something, and now I know that I've done all I can, and it didn't work.





I'm really lucky, though, that my whole family was right behind me, supporting me through it all. I needed them, and they really came through. Thanks, family.

Homecoming Dance--no creative title sorry

So, Homecoming is this weekend. I can't exactly say I'm excited. I mean, the music is terrible, the dancing is nonexistant, and I know that there will be a ridiculous amount of grinding going on.

For those of you who are thinking, "Grinding? What is grinding? Like cheese?" I have some very sad news for you. No, grinding is...well...it's awkward to explain. It's a girl rubbing her backside up against a guy's frontside. Yeah. Awkward. And kids do it and call it dancing. Trust me, it's not dancing. It's disgusting. Especially for freshmen to see a bunch of seniors grinding, it's quite scarring for a naive 14-year-old.

And besides averting my eyes as fellow classmates try out grinding for themselves, I know that I will experience severe disappointment upon watching the dance floor clear out at 11:30 so people can go get drunk at afterparties.

And even worse, on Monday morning, I will see extremely hungover faces all day and hear bits and pieces of stories about wild parties and how "John had 4 shots in 3 minutes" or how "she threw up all over the floor" or even "then we had sex."

Yep. That's all normal conversation the week after homecoming. And I will have to hear all of it and turn away in disgust. Even my friends, good people, good kids. Even they will fall victim to peer pressure and will eventually give in.

Now you see why I'm not all that excited for this weekend?


So, now you ask what you are supposed to do about all this?
Well, you can
  a) make your  child stay home from the dance (which is kind of cruel)
 b) let your kid go to the dance and go to whatever afterparties he/she wants to and let them suffer the consequences
   c) let your kid go to the dance and one after party that you approve of---talk to the parents of the kid who is hosting the party, or have your kid call you when they leave the dance and when they leave the party or even every hour to make sure they're okay


I would say C is the best option, but it's up to you.
I'll let you know how it all goes.

Cheater Cheater Pants on Fire...wait, that's not right

I know of a lot of people in school who cheat.

When you ask most of them why, they say, "I don't know. Because I wanted to chill out."

I also know of a lot of people who don't cheat.

But when you ask most of them why they don't, they say,  "I don't know. Because they told me not to."

Well, honestly then, the people that don't cheat are just cheaters who follow the rules.
Basically, they would cheat if they knew they would never got caught.

That's bad.

Alright, not to get too scholarly on you, but we're learning about philosophies and religion in World History, and now I'm starting to think about Legalism and Confucianism.

Legalism: maintain order and control through fear, strict laws, and harsh punishmenmts
People obey out of fear, not will

Confucianism: people are focused on becoming morally good people and reaching state of  "superior being," emphasized doing the right thing and following a righteous leader's example, maintain order by making people morally driven, have shame if they don't do what is expected/right

So, keeping in mind the above, which tacics do you think the school systems use to discourage cheating?

Legalism? Yeah I think so, too.
It's not their moral code and sense of shame that keeps them from cheating, it's their fear of punishment.

But what is that teaching us? To learn how to "get away with it."

I mean, why bother following a law or a rule if you're only doing it so you won't get caught? Don't you have to believe in it and agree with it a little more than that?

The answer: yes!

Not cheating and being fair should be instilled in us as part of our character. It's one of the best lessons we can learn as teens. But unfortunately, too many school emphasize the wrong thing, and we keep getting the same message:

"Don't cheat!"

Who? Us
What? Cheating
Where? In school
When? 8am-3pm
Why? Uhh...I don't know


So, what can you do to give your kid some moral direction?
 Talk to them!
Ask about how they feel about integrity and cheating.
Ask why they think they shouldn't cheat and if it really matters to them.
Ask what cheating is...and not just in a school setting (after all, this isn't just for school)

Let them know that you take it seriously, and more importantly, WHY you do.

Bottom Line: Teach us integrity for life, not just for now.