Junior High. Oh good times.
People usually think that high school is a tough time in life, but the real kicker is middle school. It's a rough time for both boys and girls to deal with the changes that their bodies are experiencing, their minds, their voices, their friends, and just about everything else. There are a lot of things coming all at once, and it's a huge adjustment.
That said, there are a billion and one resources for both parents and middle schoolers to read, watch, ask, listen, attend, etc. Whatever you have questions about, chances are someone wrote a book about that exact issue. And if you can't find any information on a certain topic, there are always older kids you can ask (including myself)!
As kids start to be influenced more by their peer groups than by you and your partner, they may have some serious lapses in judgement due to peer pressure and the pressure your son or daughter puts on themselves. The most important advice I can give to you is to help your child be as secure and as confident in themselves as possible. Being comfortable in their own skin, as cliche as it is, is the biggest challenge your child will face in middle school. When you're not there to help them make decisions, they have to start defining themselves as individuals, and although they will (guaranteed) make mistakes, you have to hope that you've taught them who they are.
This has been a very brief introduction to Middle School, and I promise that I will address more topics of concern later! Please leave a comment if you would like me to talk about a certain aspect of middle school.
Also, two fantastic resources for you:
michelleinthemiddle.com
girlology.com
Wednesday, September 5, 2012
Sunday, July 22, 2012
College Attacks!
Going into my junior year of high school, one word keeps invading my life: COLLEGE.
"Should we go on a college tour?"
"What colleges are you looking at?"
"I only did that so I could write it on my college app."
"I want to go to college really far from here."
With college two years away, why am I being bombarded with all of this stuff from parents, teachers, universities, and friends?
Well, it's unfortunately not that long from now that I will have to decide which colleges I want to apply to, take the ACT/SAT, write my college essay, go on college tours, and complete applications. The college admissions process is (not surprisingly) long and detailed, and as much as I don't want to start thinking about the "c" word, I can't afford to be in denial anymore.
College is supposed to be a great time in life, and I know that it will be a great time in my life. I also know that I will make friends and have a good experience no matter where I go. The issue is getting there.
It's pretty overwhelming to think about all the work that I have to do and the decisions that I have to make before getting there. But I'm confident that if I use my resources and do some serious research, I will get there.
In the meantime, I still feel like I have a million things to do and not enough time to do them. I feel like I have missed a ton of opportunities and already feel that I am coming too late in the game.
http://www.forbes.com/2010/06/30/college-application-tips-lifestyle-education-admissions.html for an article about tips for applying to college
Of course, this is a very basic list of resources that I personally have found to be very helpful, and I hope that they will be of some use to you. Some of them are highly acclaimed websites, and I know that they will have more information than you will even want to read! Good luck with your college application process! I'm sure you will be hearing more about mine in the near future!
P.S. thanks to the following website for the image: http://www.google.com/imgres?q=books&start=216&um=1&hl=en&qscrl=1&nord=1&rlz=1T4TSNA_enUS391US400&biw=1366&bih=613&addh=36&tbm=isch&tbnid=liI97SgU0INSWM:&imgrefurl=http://publishingcentral.com/blog/tag/childrens-books&docid=NrnSxYmyIOlMJM&imgurl=http://publishingcentral.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2009/07/books_l.jpg&w=300&h=267&ei=FzoMULLoFub30gHr2dHRAw&zoom=1&iact=hc&vpx=322&vpy=288&dur=2457&hovh=212&hovw=238&tx=145&ty=148&sig=104007103313082174013&page=9&tbnh=132&tbnw=148&ndsp=30&ved=1t:429,r:9,s:216,i:129
"Should we go on a college tour?"
"What colleges are you looking at?"
"I only did that so I could write it on my college app."
"I want to go to college really far from here."
With college two years away, why am I being bombarded with all of this stuff from parents, teachers, universities, and friends?
Well, it's unfortunately not that long from now that I will have to decide which colleges I want to apply to, take the ACT/SAT, write my college essay, go on college tours, and complete applications. The college admissions process is (not surprisingly) long and detailed, and as much as I don't want to start thinking about the "c" word, I can't afford to be in denial anymore.
College is supposed to be a great time in life, and I know that it will be a great time in my life. I also know that I will make friends and have a good experience no matter where I go. The issue is getting there.
It's pretty overwhelming to think about all the work that I have to do and the decisions that I have to make before getting there. But I'm confident that if I use my resources and do some serious research, I will get there.
In the meantime, I still feel like I have a million things to do and not enough time to do them. I feel like I have missed a ton of opportunities and already feel that I am coming too late in the game.
If you are finding yourself or your teen in a similar situation to mine, I have some good news for you! I have been doing a lot of research lately to make up for my previous lack of work, and I have found some great websites and tools to help us both out.
Here they are:
http://www.cappex.com/ for help finding scholarships, organizing college trips, connecting with colleges, and so much more
http://www.kaptest.com/ for help with test prep (as horrible as it is, test scores are important)
http://www.collegeboard.org/ for help planning, getting information, and test prep (be sure to sign up to get one SAT question emailed to you everyday)
http://www.zinch.com/ for help finding scholarships and paying for college
http://www.eprep.com/ for test prep
http://www.forbes.com/2010/06/30/college-application-tips-lifestyle-education-admissions.html for an article about tips for applying to college
Of course, this is a very basic list of resources that I personally have found to be very helpful, and I hope that they will be of some use to you. Some of them are highly acclaimed websites, and I know that they will have more information than you will even want to read! Good luck with your college application process! I'm sure you will be hearing more about mine in the near future!
P.S. thanks to the following website for the image: http://www.google.com/imgres?q=books&start=216&um=1&hl=en&qscrl=1&nord=1&rlz=1T4TSNA_enUS391US400&biw=1366&bih=613&addh=36&tbm=isch&tbnid=liI97SgU0INSWM:&imgrefurl=http://publishingcentral.com/blog/tag/childrens-books&docid=NrnSxYmyIOlMJM&imgurl=http://publishingcentral.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2009/07/books_l.jpg&w=300&h=267&ei=FzoMULLoFub30gHr2dHRAw&zoom=1&iact=hc&vpx=322&vpy=288&dur=2457&hovh=212&hovw=238&tx=145&ty=148&sig=104007103313082174013&page=9&tbnh=132&tbnw=148&ndsp=30&ved=1t:429,r:9,s:216,i:129
Saturday, July 7, 2012
The Perfect Body
I'm sorry to say that I haven't been blogging much lately, as you can probably tell. It has been so super busy, but at the same time, I haven't been all that busy. It's summer. School's out. I shouldn't have to do anything (except summer reading, which I have barely touched, for the record), but I've been feeling like I have a million things to do: reading about colleges, cleaning my room, studying for the ACT/SAT, working out, driving, grocery shopping, reading this book, reading that book, watching this movie, the list continues. After storing up so many things during the year that I said would have to wait until summer, I should be excited that summer has finally come. But I've quite overloaded myself. I'm trying to remind myself that I have the time to do everything I have to do AND everything I want to do.
Lately, I have found myself doing a lot of lounging by the pool. My sister and I could hardly make it a solid five minutes of tanning, though, because it's just too hot! But as I lay there in my one piece bathing suit, sweating under the sun that's determined to kill me, I notice that every other girl by the pool is wearing a bikini.
I look down at my navy one-piece, which I bought with my friend at the mall a few weeks ago. I liked it then. I still like it.
But when I look at all the other girls with their seemingly perfect beach bods in cute little bikinis, it's a lot harder to like my own body in its one-piece. I think a lot of teenager girls (and guys. Let's not pretend they don't see other guys' muscles) suffer from what I call "I want that" syndrome. "I want that" syndrome, pretty obviously, is the issue of seeing something great and wishing you had it. It requires a bit of low self-esteem, self-consciousness, and, you guessed it, jealousy. This time of year, the "I want that" syndrome most commonly applies to wanting someone else's body.
Of course, this syndrome isn't limited to poolside teens. All kinds of people can suffer from it in all kinds of situations. As a parent, the best thing you can do is remind your daughter or son that the most important thing is to be healthy and that she/he doesn't need to look like everyone else to be beautiful. As long as she/he exercises a normal amount and eats healthy foods that contain the right nutrients, she/he shouldn't be worried. However, it's hard for us, as teens, to realize that. We want the perfect body that's advertised and that everyone seems to have. And chances are, we're not happy until we get it.
If you see signs of an eating disorder or descructive mindset in your child, it's important to get help. Don't underestimate the severity of the effect of the "I want that" syndrome. Get help.
So as your child goes off to the pool this summer, remind her that you love her the way she is and that she should love herself this way, too.
Lately, I have found myself doing a lot of lounging by the pool. My sister and I could hardly make it a solid five minutes of tanning, though, because it's just too hot! But as I lay there in my one piece bathing suit, sweating under the sun that's determined to kill me, I notice that every other girl by the pool is wearing a bikini.
I look down at my navy one-piece, which I bought with my friend at the mall a few weeks ago. I liked it then. I still like it.
But when I look at all the other girls with their seemingly perfect beach bods in cute little bikinis, it's a lot harder to like my own body in its one-piece. I think a lot of teenager girls (and guys. Let's not pretend they don't see other guys' muscles) suffer from what I call "I want that" syndrome. "I want that" syndrome, pretty obviously, is the issue of seeing something great and wishing you had it. It requires a bit of low self-esteem, self-consciousness, and, you guessed it, jealousy. This time of year, the "I want that" syndrome most commonly applies to wanting someone else's body.
Of course, this syndrome isn't limited to poolside teens. All kinds of people can suffer from it in all kinds of situations. As a parent, the best thing you can do is remind your daughter or son that the most important thing is to be healthy and that she/he doesn't need to look like everyone else to be beautiful. As long as she/he exercises a normal amount and eats healthy foods that contain the right nutrients, she/he shouldn't be worried. However, it's hard for us, as teens, to realize that. We want the perfect body that's advertised and that everyone seems to have. And chances are, we're not happy until we get it.
If you see signs of an eating disorder or descructive mindset in your child, it's important to get help. Don't underestimate the severity of the effect of the "I want that" syndrome. Get help.
So as your child goes off to the pool this summer, remind her that you love her the way she is and that she should love herself this way, too.
Sunday, February 19, 2012
Learning that Adults Aren't Always Right
Just because someone is older than you, that doesn't make them wiser, and it certainly doesn't mean that you should always listen to them. Respect them, yes. Expect that they're always right, no.
That is a tough lesson for teenager to learn, and unfortunately, I had to learn it over the past few weeks. I've had some issues with teachers at my school, and I did my best to handle everything with respect and maturity by sending emails and having a meeting with the principal. And after many attempts to share my opinion and tell them that what they are doing is wrong, I was shoved aside and rudely confronted.
I thought that adults were taught not to talk to children like that. I thought that they would at least consider my opinions. Nope. They handled the entire situation in a more child-like way than me. I had to be the adult, and that was not right. Talk about role reversal.
I've never been so frustrated and angry in my whole life, and I felt like (and still feel like) I have no control over my own learning and that my feelings and ideas have no weight. It's an awful feeling to know you're so worthless when it comes to changing the system. And so lonely. I wish I could do something, and now I know that I've done all I can, and it didn't work.
I'm really lucky, though, that my whole family was right behind me, supporting me through it all. I needed them, and they really came through. Thanks, family.
That is a tough lesson for teenager to learn, and unfortunately, I had to learn it over the past few weeks. I've had some issues with teachers at my school, and I did my best to handle everything with respect and maturity by sending emails and having a meeting with the principal. And after many attempts to share my opinion and tell them that what they are doing is wrong, I was shoved aside and rudely confronted.
I thought that adults were taught not to talk to children like that. I thought that they would at least consider my opinions. Nope. They handled the entire situation in a more child-like way than me. I had to be the adult, and that was not right. Talk about role reversal.
I've never been so frustrated and angry in my whole life, and I felt like (and still feel like) I have no control over my own learning and that my feelings and ideas have no weight. It's an awful feeling to know you're so worthless when it comes to changing the system. And so lonely. I wish I could do something, and now I know that I've done all I can, and it didn't work.
I'm really lucky, though, that my whole family was right behind me, supporting me through it all. I needed them, and they really came through. Thanks, family.
Friday, December 23, 2011
A Cynical Look at the Holidays
We all know that it's holiday season. Yes, the most stressful, but supposedly the most cheerful time of year. People try to stretch their wallets in an attempt to buy people's happiness. Brilliant. That sounds lovely.
Instead of showing love by hugs and kisses, we show our love by how much money we spend and what we spend it on. Sometimes it would be better (not to mention cheaper) to tell someone "I love you" than to buy a heart-shaped diamond necklace to say it for you....or to not say it.
Maybe we're just trying to find a way around saying what we want (or don't want, but think we should) say to each other. Maybe that necklace is supposed to make her feel that you love her, but even though you may want to, you don't. Or maybe that brand new ipod touch for you daughter who you never talk to is supposed to make her feel like you're there for her all the time and that you care about her, and maybe you're trying to make up for all the times she gets in the car and you're on a conference call, but really, you know nothing is going to change between the two of you.
It's almost like the gift and the money are supposed to trick someone from discovering the truth about how you feel. Like a diversion. It's disguised by bows and wrapping paper and fluff and all so you won't be found out. "Well surely after she gets this, she won't need me to tell her I love her...because I don't." All so that no one discovers your little secret.
It's a cynical way to look at things, I know. And maybe I'm completely wrong. But all I've been seeing lately is a ton of traffic around the malls, crowded parking lots, scuffed shoes, stressed faces, and crying children. People honk more on our way to school in the mornings, and it's harder and harder to merge because no one will let us in.
Now, is that what the holidays should do to us? Make us rude and inconsiderate and dishonest?
I doubt that all this was part of the plan.
I mean, where is the love?
Instead of showing love by hugs and kisses, we show our love by how much money we spend and what we spend it on. Sometimes it would be better (not to mention cheaper) to tell someone "I love you" than to buy a heart-shaped diamond necklace to say it for you....or to not say it.
Maybe we're just trying to find a way around saying what we want (or don't want, but think we should) say to each other. Maybe that necklace is supposed to make her feel that you love her, but even though you may want to, you don't. Or maybe that brand new ipod touch for you daughter who you never talk to is supposed to make her feel like you're there for her all the time and that you care about her, and maybe you're trying to make up for all the times she gets in the car and you're on a conference call, but really, you know nothing is going to change between the two of you.
It's almost like the gift and the money are supposed to trick someone from discovering the truth about how you feel. Like a diversion. It's disguised by bows and wrapping paper and fluff and all so you won't be found out. "Well surely after she gets this, she won't need me to tell her I love her...because I don't." All so that no one discovers your little secret.
It's a cynical way to look at things, I know. And maybe I'm completely wrong. But all I've been seeing lately is a ton of traffic around the malls, crowded parking lots, scuffed shoes, stressed faces, and crying children. People honk more on our way to school in the mornings, and it's harder and harder to merge because no one will let us in.
Now, is that what the holidays should do to us? Make us rude and inconsiderate and dishonest?
I doubt that all this was part of the plan.
I mean, where is the love?
Sunday, December 18, 2011
Who is Qin and why should I know him?
Holiday break arrived with the playing of games and the laughter of friends....and the ending of exams!
Finally!
I calculated my hours of studying for my 5 exams, each 2.5 hours, and I got to (duh dum dum): 37.33 hours of studying in less than one week. Whew. That's a lot. At least for me.
And as I was studying, I came up with another great metaphor for the school system/administration.
Finally!
I calculated my hours of studying for my 5 exams, each 2.5 hours, and I got to (duh dum dum): 37.33 hours of studying in less than one week. Whew. That's a lot. At least for me.
And as I was studying, I came up with another great metaphor for the school system/administration.
Pictured above is Qin Shihuangdi (I wouldn't check that spelling if I were you; I know it's not right). He doesn't look too nice, does he? Nope. Well he's not.
Long story short, he is the self-proclaimed emperor who started the Qin Dynasty in China in the Classical Era (around 600BCE). His rule is characterized by harsh punishments and grueling public works projects, like the building of his tomb, which is famous for it's life sized terra cotta warriors.
The building of such incredible works caused ill will among the people and led to rebellions and such that eventually ended his rule.
Now how do you feel about him right now? You don't like old Qin, do you? You think he's mean and unfair and he got what he deserved, right?
Now let's generate all those angry feelings towards the school system.
Well, here's when the metaphor comes in. Bear with me here (yes, it's bear not bare. I looked it up), the school system is like Qin, and we, the students, are like the workers being forced into doing ridiculous tasks that don't benefit us at all (AKA building tombs=doing homework).
What I'm trying to say is that all of our "ill will" is eventually going to boil over, and we will rebel! I hope! Better be soon!
All I know is I'm way to burnt out from exams to start this whole rebellion, so someone else needs to start it!
Sunday, December 4, 2011
The Ex Problem
Last Saturday night, I went to a birthday party (yes, people my age still have birthday parties). There was food, dancing, singing, laughter, photos, the usual. So I was with some of my girlfriends, enjoying myself, feeling like a dancing queen, laughing at some jokes that are only funny on late nights, singing with a fake microphone in my hands, and then, through the crowd, in mid sentence, I saw....my ex.
Oh great. Not that we're enemies or anything, but after our 6 month relationship (which is a long time for high schoolers), we didn't end on a good note. At all.
Now whenever I see him, I'm not sure whether to avert my eyes or pretend I don't see him or try to look extra pretty and giggly or wave and smile. It's just this uncomfortable phase, and neither of us seem to know what to do. We do know one thing: neither of us are talking to eachother. Normally this awkward stage after relationships ends after a month or so, then it's just over. For us, it's not so smooth.
It's been 9 months.
It would be easier just not to see him at all, but going to the same school, a small school, doesn't make that possible.
So we just continued or odd routine of not talking to eachother but taking turns staring at one another across the room. And we probably will continue it for a long time to come.
Oh great. Not that we're enemies or anything, but after our 6 month relationship (which is a long time for high schoolers), we didn't end on a good note. At all.
Now whenever I see him, I'm not sure whether to avert my eyes or pretend I don't see him or try to look extra pretty and giggly or wave and smile. It's just this uncomfortable phase, and neither of us seem to know what to do. We do know one thing: neither of us are talking to eachother. Normally this awkward stage after relationships ends after a month or so, then it's just over. For us, it's not so smooth.
It's been 9 months.
It would be easier just not to see him at all, but going to the same school, a small school, doesn't make that possible.
So we just continued or odd routine of not talking to eachother but taking turns staring at one another across the room. And we probably will continue it for a long time to come.
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