Let's Talk Teen Angst

     Sometimes I feel really lonely and very...forgotten. When I haven't seen my best friend in months, my crush doesn't know I exist, school is stressing me out (PSAT, AP class, new teaching styles that don't work), my parents are busy with work and other stuff, my siblings are busy getting ready for college, during the day I find myself in empty hallways by myself more often than in crowded ones, I just feel kind of alone. I know that I'm blowing it out of proportion and that a lot of people care about me, they are just really busy. But at the same time, knowing what the reality is and how I feel are two different things. Sometimes (always), I can't control how I feel about something, even if I know that how I feel is "wrong."
  
    I had a great today at school today, but after school, when everyone left and I was there waiting to go home, it just went downhill. Horomones can set in at any moment, and unfortunately, today they hit me. You just start to make a mental list of all the bad things in your life, and you feel like everyone is putting a lot of pressure on you, but at the same time, it feels like no one really cares.
   
    And when you're sitting outside on the curb in your neighborhood and the sun is setting and the list just keeps getting longer, and your friend/mentor won't pick up her phone, that's when you start to cry. And you give yourself a few minutes, and you let down your hair so the passing cars don't stop and ask if you're okay. And you just let it out. And after you've had your tears (which can take moments or months depending on the specific situation, depression can result), you start making a list of all the good things in life, and you stand up, dust off the back of your jeans, and walk back to the house.

   At least that's my story. Take it as you will, but every teen, and every person, feels this way at some point in their life. Sometimes it's just something that lasts a day or a week, maybe when you're on your period, and you just have a rough couple of days. But other times, these deep feelings develop into something very serious, like depression. A lot of times teens with depression go undiagnosed because it's not considered serious, it's "just teen angst." But in reality, it's not the severity of the situation that necessarily matters, it's the reaction to it and the feelings that a person has.

  So, to put this is graphical terms (not sure if that makes sense...), I will show you a little what we're doing in math. The y variable (verticle line) depends on the x variable (horizontal line).

   Most people would think that that the situation a person is in goes on the x axis and therfore affects the emotion on the y axis. I think that's true initially. But then I think it flips, so that the emotion and the mindset affects the situation. Becoming depressed can affect your entire life, in school, out of school, all the time.

  Example: A bad day caused by small things (like forgetting your lunch) can affect you emotions. But if you wallow in those emotions and let them eat away at you, then the emotion stats affecting your situation. Maybe you don't do your homework that night because you're just upset. And the next day you don't go to school. Now the emotion is affecting your situation/life.

Bottom Line: Teens all have moments when they just complain. What's important is to differentiate between those times and the times when it really gets serious. Anyone can get depressed; it doesn't take a tragedy. Don't assume your child is okay because he or she doesn't have a "big problem" in life. "Teen Angst," which by the way, definitely isn't a condition restricted to teens, stems from insecurity. So the best thing that you can do for us it show us how much you love us.

More on depression later.